May 28th

When I got up this morning I was all set to sit down and write about our trip to the pediatrician yesterday. But before I got a chance to sit down at the computer my phone rang.  I was reminded of the date and it all went down hill. Today is a day I wish would just go away.  Unlike Steven’s birthday there is nothing to celebrate today.  Today is the anniversary of the day I will always remember as the first worst day of my life.  The day I learned a phone call at an odd hour is almost never a good thing.  The day I learned nothing is a guarantee in life.  The day a folded flag became something more than a flag.  And the day that a 21 gun salute, Taps, and the final call of a fire alarm became something that makes my knees week and my head spin.

After my list on Steven’s birthday I received a few e-mails from people who did not know him.  They all said the same thing, “I wish I knew Steven”.  My answer to all of them was the same.  “I wish you knew him too”.  So today I am going to do my best to “introduce” you to my brother.

Steven was fun!  He really knew how to have a good time.  That was what he did.  I could sit here and say he was a responsible, hard working guy who always did what he had to do.  But that would be a lie.  He knew how to party.  Always made friends with the bar tender, bought the drinks, and made people laugh.

Steven was a fire fighter.  In every sense.  He had a bond with the others like nothing I have ever seen.  I think he was most proud of being a member of  Liberty Hose and truck co.  He loved his brothers.  This was something I never understood until he was gone.  But I quickly learned it was so much more than just fighting some fires. They were a family.

He really helped people.  In the short time he was given he did more than most people who live to be 100.  He would give someone the last dollar he had if he thought they needed it more than he did. (And he did a few times, even if he had to borrow that last dollar from me.)  He once helped deliver a baby.  And on September 11, 2001 when most people were getting out of New York, Steven was driving in.  He said his brothers needed help, and he had to help them.  So he drove to New York and found a fire department to help.  He came home a day or two  later to a frantic mother who had not heard from her son since the attacks.  And if I am remembering correctly, could not understand what the problem was when she was worried about him. They needed help, he was just helping.

He was a friend.  Steven had a lot of friends.  I met hundreds of Steven’s “best friend” in the days following Steven’s death.  Steven had his few “best friends”  but treated everyone like they were one of them.

His friends poured in by the 100’s. And they all had stories to share. Some that I will treasure for ever.  “I’m lookin’ in the mirror, and I don’t really see myself commin’ in today.” He called in sick to work that way, when his friends pointed out that he never said who it was he replied “they know”  Some I wish I never heard. “Hey Murph!” Blecch, Blecch (that is the sound of me barfing a million times.)  Some that make me proud.  “Steven helped me through a really hard time in my life”.

The stories are what have gotten me through this.  Please, if you have a story to share about Steven put it in the comments so everyone can enjoy it.

Christmas 2003-Nicole Party-STEVEN 092

One last thing, I have needed to get this out for 5 years.  I hate you Julia Davis!  I think of you almost every day. I hope your life sucks.


3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    corby said,

    barb no one can say it better then you did!

  2. 2

    Grandma said,

    that was just took me awhile to be able to read it
    we were blessed to know him…a remarkable guy
    I am glad he and Katie were friends in HS.
    the world could use more like him!!

  3. 3

    Kris Rosengrant said,

    Hey Barbara, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your brother. You write about him beautifully, and he was an amazing guy. I do wish I couldve known him. I pray that you keep celebrating his life, and all the great things you cherish about him will always be a part of you. Best of everything, Kris

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